Bios
Everything you never knew you wanted to know about the Sigs!

Name: James Introcaso
Favorite Game: Steve
Interesting Fact: I like sharks and pirates, but they hate each other.
Personal Improv Rule: Steve is a good game.
Bio: I can stick 3 pencils up my nose.

Name: Alyssa Phillips
Favorite Game: Soap Opera , Drunk Game, La Ronde
Interesting Fact:  A squirrel once peed on me
Personal Improv Rule:
              1) If you’re floundering… get louder
              2) Truth in comedy, the truer it is, the funnier it is
Bio: Alyssa Phillips was born on January 30, 1882 in the Hudson Valley town of Hyde Park. Her father, James Roosevelt, and her mother, Sara Ann Delano, were each from wealthy old New York families, of Dutch and French ancestry respectively. In 1920, her radiant personality and her war service resulted in her nomination for vice president as James M. Cox's running mate. After her defeat, she returned to law practice in New York. In Aug. 1921, Phillips was stricken with infantile paralysis while on vacation at Campobello, New Brunswick. After a long and gallant fight, she recovered partial use of her legs. In 1932, Phillips received the Democratic nomination for president and immediately launched a campaign that brought new spirit to a weary and discouraged nation. At an early stage, Phillips became aware of the menace to world peace posed by totalitarian fascism, and from 1937 on she tried to focus public attention on the trend of events in Europe and Asia. As a result, she was widely denounced as a warmonger.  Phillips’s program to bring maximum aid to Britain and, after June 1941, to Russia was opposed, until the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor restored national unity. In 1944 she was elected to a fourth term, running against Gov. Thomas E. Dewey of New York. On April 12, 1945, Phillips died of a cerebral hemorrhage at Warm Springs, Ga., shortly after her return from the Yalta Conference.

Name: Alida “Sock Monster” Liberman
Fave game: Ding!, Continuation, Real World, Superhero Sidekick 2.0, Crazy-prov
Interesting fact: When I grow up, I want to be an old lady who drives a red convertible while blasting Ludacris songs and hollering out her window at cute 20-year-old
            guys, then goes clubbing in a tube top that barely supports her sagging breasts and flashes people for shots.
MY IMPROV GOLDEN RULE: When in doubt, act like a crazy old cat lady or put on a ridiculous accent of indistinguishable Eastern European origin.
            Rule I never follow: Don't monologue
            Rule I always follow: Nothing is off-limits to be made fun of!
Bio: Alida was born in the USA in the summer of '69.  Though she was raised among gypsies, tramps, and thieves, she was living in a material world and she was a material girl.  She was happy and she knew it; accordingly, she clapped her hands. Alida worked hard for the money eight days a week before she finally got a ticket to ride, allowing her to go back to the USSR for a brief stint as a secret agent man.  After a hard day's night, however, she decided it was time for her to be leaving on a jet plane. She had tears on her pillow and pain in her heart because she was looking for love in all the wrong places.  Thankfully, it soon started raining men.  She fell for a young teacher (the subject of school girl fantasy), who made her feel like a natural woman.  One, he was like a dream come true; she said "two, just want to be with you."  They were accidentally in love until he urged her to take the money and run.  Though she would do anything for love, she wouldn't do that. Though she didn't need no education, she came to the College of New Jersey in order to follow her passion for Facebook stalking, so that every move you make, she'll be watching you.  However, she felt caught in a landslide, with no escape from reality.  She couldn't get no satisfaction until she found the Mixed Signals, which lit up her life and gave her hope to carry on. A happy member of the Mixed Signals, she specializes in taking care of business, though she is usually late to practice because she is wasted away again in Margaritaville, searching for her lost shaker of salt.  And though some people say that there's Alyssa to blame, she knows . . . it's her own damn fault.

Name: Mike Davidoff
Favorite Game:
Interesting Fact:
Personal Improv Rule:
Bio:

Name: Sean Curry
Favorite Game: World's Worst
Interesting Fact: I have 2,000 toes.
Personal Improv Rule: There can never be too much nudity.
Bio: Sean Curry graduated Old Marm Henry's School for Youngsters in 1756 with a proficiency in Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic.  He then moved to the fast paced Oklahoma City and kept the books at his Uncle Sal's General Store.  After 10 years of loyally working for Saul, Sean decided the farming life was more his style and moved to Illinois, where he met his beautiful wife, Matilda, in a saloon.  The two were married a month later and started a 300-acre wheat farm under the Homestead Act.  They had 14 wonderful children, and the 8 who lived past 3 grew to learn the ways of the farmer by day, and reading, writing, and arithmetic by night.  Sean and Matilda grew old and, after leaving their oldest, Saul, in charge of the family farm, moved to Pennsylvania to live out their remaining days together.  Sadly, Matilda died of smallpox in 1804 in Sean's arms.  Sean's remaining children all died of old age between the years of 1843 and 1864, much to Sean's dismay.  It should be noted that Sean is immortal, and improvs today as a means of forgetting the sorrow in his life.  Someday, he hopes to defeat his nemesis, Capital Lord Archon of the planet Rape.

Name: Kim “Tiny” Mackanic
Favorite Game: Ding!, Half-life, Crazy-prov
Interesting Fact: Kim is the token cripple AND the token Native American.
Personal Improv Rule:
                1) When it doubt, whip ‘em out.
                2) If all else fails, kill a bitch.
Bio: Kim was always a wild and crazy kid who grew up in a round house in a small town called Weinerville. She began adventuring with Pete and Pete at the age of 6. At 14, her cousins Keenan and Kel double dared her to explain it all to Clarissa. She did. Twice. When Kim entered the 9th grade, Nick and Stick Stickly tried to take over her school but she wasn’t having it. Kim ran through the halls screaming, “Ahh! Real monsters!” and the two ran out of there like they were on a super toy run. Unfortunately, weeks later, Kim found her boyfriend, Doug, exploring the secret world of Alex Mack. It wasn’t funny; there were guts everywhere. Kim ran away to a hidden temple to avoid the police until all the craziness died down. Come on, what would you do? She had no choice. Luckily, before she went completely out of her mind, some rock-climbers named Ren and Stimpy stumbled upon the temple and rescued Kim. Since she could not look directly at their faces because the light, which she had not seen in years, was hurting her eyes, she saluted their shorts in appreciation. Kim’s crazy tale inspired the third book in the “Mystery Files” book series by Shelby Woo. Damn that girl is all that (Kim, not Shelby. Shelby may be all that, too, but this isn't her bio so who cares?). But Kim has since moved on to simpler things, like the Mixed Signals. Oh, and she's not afraid of the dark. Are you?

Name: Laura Hargreaves
Favorite Game:
Interesting Fact:
Personal Improv Rule:
Bio:

Name: Andrew Timmes
Favorite Game: Steve
Interesting Fact: Timmes is German for "Dude that bad never happens to, because he's German." Unfortunately, Timmes is 75% Irish.
Personal Improv Rule: Fuck up. Break rules. Don't think.
Bio: Timmes was born [date redacted] in [place redacted]. He attended [school name redacted] and now goes to college at [college name redacted], where he enjoys [hobbies redacted]. Currently, he serves as a [classification level redacted] [job title redacted] in the [federal department name
redacted].

Name: Dan Keyser
Favorite Game: Time Warp, Steve
Interesting Fact: Dan has a $500,000 insurance package on each of his sideburns.
Personal Improv Rule: When in doubt, make your character creepy.
Bio: Born in a small town in rural Alaska, Dan “The Man” Keyser was orphaned at birth when a pro-choice activist bombed the hospital where he had just entered the world.  The activist was unaware that Dan had survived all attempts to “plug the little bastard,” and was alive and kicking in utero.  Said “concerned citizen” drove a Jeep filled with gasoline and alcohol into the Eastern wall of the maternity ward, causing lots of cool explosions.  Huge ones.  Yes, Dan entered the world in just about as awesome a fashion as can be imagined.  Left with no one to care for him, the child lay huddled in a veritable cocoon made by his parents-to-be’s burning corpses.  But Dan didn’t cry; he rose from the figurative and literal ashes like a phoenix.  Some still call him “The Boy Who Lived…Through a Huge Explosion When He Was Being Born.”  The young master Keyser took to the frigid Alaskan rivers and, after several years of adventures with a friendly Dolphin named Keto and a poorly tempered polar bear who only responds to “The Gruff,” Dan once again stepped onto the shores of human civilization.  Only now he was wiser.  Smarter.  Quicker.  Ready to fight for truth.  Dan Keyser had emerged – an improv comedian.

Name: Vegas Lancaster
Favorite Game: Steve
Interesting Fact:  The dude likes to read qwantz.com
Improv Rule:  Be really loud.
Bio: Vegas must beware Macduff.  None of woman born shall harm Vegas.  Vegas never vanquish'd be until Great Birnam Wood to High Dunsinane Hill shall come against him.

Name: Elaine “Caucasian” White
Favorite Game: Drunk Game, Half Life, No Minor Characters
Interesting Fact: Elaine can tie a cherry stem, unwrap a Starburst, and touch her nose with her tongue (though not at the same time. She’s working on that :-P).
Personal Improv Rule: You don’t need to be smart to improv (though I’m sure it helps)
Bio: Elaine White was raised by wolves in Canada after her Inuit parents lost her as a toddler on a family vacation to the Arctic Circle. There she learned survival instincts, specializing in hunting puffins, finding shelter, and the ancient art of improvisational comedy, a secret driving force of wolf packs all over the world. When Elaine was found by the guys who found that woolly mammoth frozen in an iceberg, she was taken from her pack and forced to adapt to human society once again. Distressed, lonely, and misunderstood, Elaine feared she would never fit in. She ran away from the scientist guys and their frozen mammoth to New Jersey, where she heard rumors that the sacred practice of improv still lives. To her joy, she found the Mixed Signals at TCNJ, who adopted her when she was eighteen. The Signals did not oppress Elaine, encouraging her to live life according to her pack's customs. Elaine finally felt proud to pee on her possessions and howl at the moon, for the Signals would love her for who she was. While she still pines for her arctic canine family, Elaine as at last found a home among the humans.

Name: Jill "Are those real?" Hernandez
Fave game: Time warp!
Interesting fact:
Improv Rules: Don't suck. If sucking happens, stop it. Basically just don't suck. Or eat sushi.
Bio: Jill once spent 3000 years as a genie, but gave up that life of magic and belly jewels for a more glamorous existence as a poor philosophy major with bad hips and sometimes purple hair.

Name: Cat Cosentino
Favorite Game: La Ronde! That's what we have these hooks for...
Interesting Fact: Bob Saget
Improv Rule: Commit to your character, even if the character is weak. If you don't, confidence is lost and it shows. Oh, and laugh your bum off.
Bio: It was somewhere between the morphine addiction and the incestual relationship she had with two of her cousins in Oklahoma one starlit night, when Cat realized that she should attend TCNJ and audition for the Mixed Signals. She thought she would be ready for action once the production team from Intervention left her cozy barn. Cat never knew Play Dough and oatmeal could wean her off so well. Anyway, so she rode her horse to Records and Registration and settled her academics. Shortly after arriving at her residence hall, Cat receive a Howler in the mail. It was the sweet harmony of all the Mixed Signals' voices telling her to audition. She obeyed. Little did she know she had to prepare a nautical strip tease during the audition process. Luckily her uncle taught her all he knew from when he was a Marine during Vietnam.

Name: Steve Fingerhut
Favorite Game: Party Quirks
Interesting Fact: I taught my pet chicken how to ride a bike.
Personal Improv Rule: Don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood.
A little about me: I have two aspirations.
        1. I want to fly a kite with a key attached to the tail during a lightning storm.
        2. One day, I'd like to go on a cruise to the Grand Canyon.
Bio: As to my achievements, I've placed 2nd in the Tour de France 6 years in a row, I once won a tournament for my "Kada" at Tiger Schulman's school of martial arts (1992), I was at the top of my class in power walking during gym in high school (freshman AND sophomore year), I won a chicken wing eating contest at my first birthday (medium spicy), I received honorable mention for a writing contest in 7th grade (supposedly over 10 people entered), and I received my elementary school's perfect attendance award in 4th grade and 6th grade. That's pretty much all you need to know.